I always leave a little bit of soda in the bottom of the can. The last piece of cheese in the fridge will sit unless someone else grabs it. My inbox is filled with reminders for month-long exercise programs I’ve signed up for, followed religiously for four days, and then never looked at again. I started an online introduction to Japanese course that’s been stuck on “Telling Time and Counting!” for several months now. I should go back and finish. But I haven’t.
I have a problem finishing things. I’m not sure when it started. Maybe it’s always been there, another facet of my daily anxieties. My brain doesn’t like to stay focused on one thing for too long, because then the insecurities, the doubts, the worst-case-scenarios come creeping in. Better to move on before they take root. The grass is always greener with the next idea.
On a related note, I have eleven partially written novels on my computer.
Nobody ever made it big with partially written novels.
The pattern is always the same. New idea! Write furiously because this is obviously the next great American novel and nothing’s going to stop me now. Have another story idea, this one shiny and new and ripe for explosive writing. Abandon previous idea because that one was stupid anyway. Rinse. Repeat.
Only, I don’t think any of the ideas are stupid. They just need work. Work I wasn’t willing to put in before. But I’m determined to make it happen this time, shiny new ideas be damned (just kidding please don’t stop popping into my head I’ll just work on you later).
So this blog is to keep me writing. Keep me accountable. Keep me on track because there’s no going back now.